We’ve all been there….one week we’re flowing with positive energy, loving everything about life, super optimistic about the future, and then suddenly, this nasty, ugly mood sets in like a black cloud. Your friends suck, your job is the worst, you’re going to end up a failure, and so on and so forth. Your general attitude completely shifts from happy and optimistic, to grumpy and negative. Sometimes it happens without warning, for no real reason at all. And sometimes, for us ladies especially, it happens around a certain time each month. I don’t mean to sound old-fashioned or anti-feminist by saying that, but PMS is real, and it doesn’t make you any less of a “modern woman” to admit it. Anyway, I digress…
No one is immune to occasional negative vibes, myself included, so after some personal trial and error, I’ve come up with a few tips to break that ugly feeling and reset the brain. You still may not feel 100%, but at least you’re not walking around with the attitude of a wet mop. Here goes:
1. Put Things Into Perspective. You may feel like life sucks and everyone’s against you, but take a minute to think about things for a bit. Is it all really that bad? Does your boss really have it out for you or are you just taking what they said the wrong way? You may feel compelled to magnify your problems but take a step back and think about the big picture. It’s probably not as bad as you think. Millions of people have problems and worries just like yours, and so many more have problems that are way worse…which leads me to my next point…
2. Count Your Blessings. No need to add “#blessed” to every picture or status – actually please don’t do that. But think about the thousands of things you have that you should feel lucky for. The basic things that we take for granted….health, clean breathing air, a roof over our heads, an education, family, a decent job with decent working conditions/hours. It’s easy to be angry for whatever reason and feel sorry for ourselves, but if you think about the things you already have and how lucky you are, you can feel your attitude start to change pretty quickly. Yes, our first-world problems and worries aren’t invalid, but other, less-fortunate people would looove to have our kind of problems. Just think about that for a second.
3. Hang Out with People Who Make You Feel Good. This is pretty obvious. Grab dinner with that friend you can totally be yourself around. Talk to the person who always has some crazy story about something and makes you laugh. Avoid the people that you need to put on a front for. Hopefully you don’t have too many people like this in your life anyway…life is too short for people like that.
4. Work Out. It’s so easy plop on the couch and get into lazy mode as you mope all week. It’s also easy to eat whatever comfort food you want and not give a damn. And don’t get me wrong, indulging from time to time is great…there’s nothing better than having that mac & cheese to soothe your grumpy soul, but if you overdo it, I promise you, you’ll feel even worse after the fact. So get up and go for a run. Go to the gym. Do a 10-minute workout video from YouTube. You don’t even need weights or serious equipment. We have access to so much online that there’s really no excuse. Activity is good for you, because you’ll feel productive and it releases endorphins. And to quote Elle Woods, endorphins make you happy! Your negative vibes will eventually feel like an irrelevant nuisance instead of taking over your whole being.
5. Take a Break from Social Media. I know this is tough, especially when you’re moody and looking for distractions, but seriously, put the phone down for little while. When you’re feeling less than amazing about yourself, it can be annoying as hell to see everyone’s glorified FB updates and perfectly-filtered vacation pics every 2 minutes…even if you’re the least jealous person on the planet. You’re only going to compare yourself irrationally and feel bitter about what you’re not doing, so just avoid it. Ignorance is bliss in times like this, and retreating a bit from the crazy, semi-bullshit world of social media doesn’t hurt.
6. Smile. Even if it’s the complete opposite of how you feel, flash a smile to someone. It will make you feel good and change the perception of you to those around you. Plus, a smile always looks better than a frown and requires much less energy to carry out.
7. Shop. Treat yourself to something new…anything. Retail therapy is legit, and it feels nice to buy a little something, whether it’s a new decorative piece for your home, a new phone case, new shoes or sneakers, or a new wardrobe. It’s okay to spoil yourself a bit. Just spend within reason and don’t overdo it, please! It may feel boujie to buy a lavish new YSL clutch on the fly, but if you can’t really afford it, you’ll only feel panicked later on and the negativity will fester. So be careful and mind your dolla bills!
8. Engage in Something Creative. Sing, paint, write, act, dance, color! Have you seen all the varieties of adult coloring books lately? They’re amazing, will totally destress the mind, and anyone can do it. Creativity is at the core of who we are as humans, and it’s one of the best forms of healing. Plus, you never know what could come out of it. Adele probably felt miserable when she was pouring her heart out and a writing song like “Someone Like You” (her saddest song, imo) but look where it took her and what she gave to the world. Imagine if she kept all of that sadness and anger bottled up? The world would never have an album like 21 to cherish forever, which would be the real tragedy.
9. Realize That It’s All Temporary. This kind of goes along with point #1….put your negativity into perspective, and realize that the same way your good mood came and went, your bad mood will too…it’s just a matter of how much you let it affect you while it’s around. As I mentioned before, life is short, and while it’s not natural to be happy-go-lucky allll the time, you can definitely control how far you let your unhappy moments affect you. So try not to snap at your loved ones; they’re not around forever. Don’t flip out at work; your job is not guaranteed. When you feel good again, you might regret behaving a certain way, so be careful.
Hope these tips help you get back into positive vibes sooner rather than later, and if you have others you’d like to add, feel free to mention them. Have a good one, loves!